Santa Goes Diesel
The night before Christmas topped off a good year
For months, Santa's workshop had been in high gear
The elves, working overtime, managed to meet
The record-high orders for toys (quite a feat)
But this year is different; he's made the decision:
Switch real deer for diesels, in search of precision
His reindeer are old, in need of some rest
So what better time to give diesel a test?
Nine fine robo-deer, designed by the master
Would handle more payload, and get it there faster
So he had them assembled right there in his camp
Including a Rudolph, with bright red nose lamp
Then into the night his rein-diesels he goaded
With a sleigh full of goodies, and boy, was it loaded!
This trip would set records, his mind was aglow
Soon the genius of Santa the whole world would know
They were East Coast-bound as they swept through the sky
(Old Kris Kringle was riding a natural high)
But he never suspected that what lay ahead
Would catch him off guard and so fill him with dread
The deer needed fuel, so a stop they did make
In New York, but soon learned that it was a mistake
The price of the diesel put Santa in shock:
"Three dollars a gallon? I'm on the wrong block!"
The man at the truckstop gave him a good reason:
"It's winter, you see…that's the heating oil season"
So Santa paid up and launched back into flight
Even managed to call a "ho-ho" in the night
When they reached the Deep South it was time to refill
And Santa was faced with another huge bill
"It's the hurricanes, sir," said the man at the pumps
"Refineries were damaged; they sure took their lumps"
To Chicago they flew with the greatest of ease
But they needed more diesel, and Santa said "Please
Can you tell me just why oil has gotten so high?
"It's the war in the desert" came back the reply
Into the Dakotas the sleigh then progressed
But the deer had a thirst that was growing with zest
This stop was no different, the price made him sigh
"And it's all due to China!" said the fuel island guy
They parked in the snow, all engines on idle
To make a quick check of one diesel-deer's bridle
When an environmentalist riding a mule
Stopped to tell him that idling was wasting his fuel
"You should pay more attention to a current event
Don't you know that our oil supply got up and went?
The oil barons are making it hard to come by
It's their greed that is making the prices so high"
"And if you really think you've been paying too much
Just wait 'til you feel California's touch
They have special mixtures of fuel there, and so
You'll pay even more to fill up, don't you know?"
Santa learned he was right, without much of a doubt
L.A. tapped out his Visa card, making him shout
"Next year will be different, that's all I can say
I'm going to go back to my burners of hay!"
Have a very Merry Christmas.
Doug Condra
President
E-mail Doug Condra at dcondra@truckinginfo.com, or write PO Box W. Newport Beach, Calif. 92656.
